Be Alone

It’s Okay To Be alone- From 22 Things I wish I knew By 22

Nobody wants to go through life alone. It’s actually a fear most people have, to be alone, but I suggest you face that fear. Are you afraid of spiders? Then hold a spider! (Yeah right, I will never do this, but you get what I mean). Being alone isn’t as bad as you think it is, if it is miserable, and you hate it, ask yourself: “why?” Why don’t you like spending time alone? If you don’t like spending time with you, why would anyone else? Being alone gives you the opportunity to get to know yourself and find out what is truly important to you. Often we are distracted by others and getting to know everyone else that we fail to get to know ourselves, or better yet, figure out who we want to be. I believe that we are who we choose to be, and anything we don’t like about ourselves we have the power to change. “Getting to know yourself” may sound cheesy and you might think you know who you are, but do you? Are there things you want to change? It takes a lot of work to try to make positive changes in your life. Those things won’t change themselves, so you have to take the time to figure out what they are and plan the steps you are going to take to change them.

When you are alone it’s easy to get depressed and feel down about yourself. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to be alone with your thoughts, but it’s during this time that you can try to make sense of it all. Write down all those thoughts. What do you like? What don’t you like? Be honest and realistic, some people fantasize about being someone else, or they picture an unobtainable version of themselves. People might have an idealized version of themselves, you might wish you were the type of person who likes the symphony, but you don’t enjoy it and think it’s a snooze fest. Let go of wanting to be someone else. Be true to you! Change what you don’t like about yourself, but don’t try to be something you aren’t. That isn’t going to get you any closer to being happy. Figure out what brings you joy and how you can get more of it!

In my life I hit an all time low, when I moved out of my house and lived on my own. I was lonely and I was scared. I had just moved to Arizona by myself and didn’t know anyone. I journalled, I read, I went for walks, and I started to realize who I was and who I wanted to become. Now, alone time is a must. I need it in order to be happy and rejuvenate. I started making friends and at that stage in our lives the ‘cool’ thing to do was to go out to clubs. I enjoyed spending time with my friends, but I quickly realized that wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. I would rather hang out with some friends in a quieter setting where we could actually have a conversation or watch reruns of Gilmore Girls for the umpteenth time. The song “Here” by Alleesia Cara became the story of my life. (link to monday mentions) So I started having game nights at my house with my friends, and would only go out with the girls every now and then to catch up. I started to learn who my friends were and who just wanted to have a good time. I struggled with it at first, but realized it’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to deny an outing to stay in and decompress. Relationships with others are very important, it has been said that the key to happiness is dependent on our relationships with other people. It’s genuine relationships that are important to me, not superficial ones. The relationship we have with ourselves is just as important if not more, and that relationship takes work just like any other relationship. Once you know what makes you happy, what you want, and who you are then you can share that with the world!

So, I encourage you to take this challenge: go home, make yourself a cup of tea and sit with some music playing in the background and spend some time answering the following questions.

  1. Who am I?
  2. What are my priorities?
  3. What do I like about myself?
  4. What could I improve?
  5. What are three small steps I can take right now to help me achieve this change?

If you have any questions or comments leave them below! I would love to help in any way I can!