Quick Guide to Wedding Vows—for Him
Need to write vows and feeling lost? Is it the morning of your wedding? Don’t worry, we got you.
As wedding planners, we’ve been present for a lot of vows. (And we’ve seen a lot of grooms writing them the morning of the wedding.) Writing vows can be challenging, especially getting started. Hence, why so many grooms wait for last-minute divine intervention. So we put some handy tips and tricks together to help conquer that writer’s block and deliver the best vows possible.
Consider Your Approach
There are many different takes on vows. Determining what approach you most identify with can make starting the writing process a lot easier. So choose your vow persona and let’s get started!
The Romantic
You want to let your partner know how much they mean to you on this special day. Or you want to deliver some epic vows for them because you know they’ll appreciate it. Either way, we’re big fans of this approach. I mean, it is a wedding. Everyone is coming together to celebrate your love! And while you may worry that no one wants to hear about your relationship, that’s not actually the case. Many guests actually appreciate hearing the details and being able to share in your relationship’s story with you. So get vulnerable, because your partner will appreciate it. (Just don’t get carried away…)
Here are some ideas for this approach:
Start with how you met or how you knew they were the one. For example, “I knew I was in trouble the first time you walked into trivia night wearing a Smiths shirt.”
Speak to the tenure and the growth of your relationship. “Over the past five years, you’ve taught me many things. From driving stick to skiing. But most importantly, how to show up for the one you love.”
Let them and your guests know how they make your life better. “You continue to challenge me to not only be a better partner but to be an all-around better version of myself.”
You’ve covered the past and present, now wrap it up with what’s to come. “I promise to love you with my all, even if there come times when it doesn’t seem easy. I will choose you and us every day.”
The Literalist
You feel vows are just that—vows. You think they should stick to promises you intend to uphold through your marriage, not be your whole life story. That’s cool too! In this case, think of the main ideas of marriage that are most important to you to gear your vows toward. And then mix in a couple more specific vows to make it personal.
Here are some examples for this approach:
“I promise to wake up and choose you every day.”
“I vow to love, encourage, and support you.”
“I will always listen with an open heart and do my best to truly hear you.”
“I promise to make time for you.”
“I vow to accept you as you are now and as you will be.”
“I will always be on your team. Especially if we’re playing volleyball. Because you’re amazing at it.”
“I promise to speak to you with kindness. Except for when I’m not on your volleyball team because I don’t like to lose.”
“I vow to recognize your potential, even when you can’t.”
“I will always give you time to pursue your own interests. Even if that means binging the Bachelor with your friends.”
The Minimalist
You feel vows should be short and sweet. In this case, just know that there are no length requirements on vows. Just one sentence can hold enough emotional weight for some couples. Just make sure you communicate your preference to your partner so they know what to expect. A lot of couples tend to either match their formats or have similar lengths so that it feels balanced.
Here are some ideas for this approach:
“I promise to love you for who you’ve been, who you are, and who you will become.”
“I vow to be yours fully. To love you fully. From now until the end.”
“I promise to support, encourage, and love you through this lifetime and the next.”
“You are my best friend. I will always choose us, in things big and small. And I will never stop loving you.”
And the perfect minimal vow from Parks & Recreation: “The things that you have done for me to help me, support me, surprise me, to make me happy, go above and beyond what any person deserves. You're all I need. I love you and I like you.”
Things to Remember
Now that you have some ideas flowing. Here are our final tips:
Touch base with your partner about your vow vibe, so that you’re on the same page.
Put your vows somewhere safe, like the inside pocket of your jacket.
Write them with plenty of paragraph or line breaks so that you slow down when you read.
Have someone record your vows or keep the paper for later. You will forget them.
Don’t be afraid to borrow ideas or words. If someone else said it best, that’s okay! You won’t get in trouble for plagiarism.
Make it personal. You don’t have to go crazy, but personal touches will mean a lot to your partner to let them know you put the effort into your vow writing.
The best vows are honest and from the heart. They don’t have to be perfect. They just have to be you.
By now, we hope you have some great vows either brewing or written down. If you’d like even more help or inspiration, we have a vow template for you!